I study her in a manner I don’t want to.
I can’t help myself. She captivates me as the willing prey that I am.
I can’t help but notice the cute way she has of tucking her hair behind her ear, just underneath the flower above her left lobe. That subtle seduction of hers drives me wild and she’s a pro at doing ‘subtlety’ well.
Accidental, yet on purpose.
I’ll give her that.
My whole body tingles as I watch. I’m a voyeur by invitation and I welcome my role.
I feel as though I am cheating on Alex by virtue of my need to watch her.
To study her.
To absorb her.
I try to stop myself, but I can’t. My actions are futile.
I stop fighting and go with the flow.
What I’m doing is not physically cheating, it’s not emotionally cheating, but it is visually cheating and I’m guilty as charged.
She knows I am watching her, and she likes it.
We both do.
I sense it in her movements, for they are accentuated and overdone for this audience of one.
We’ve yet to speak actual words to one another, yet she is seducing me just the same. Guilt consumes me as I rationalize her performance for my benefit and I hate to admit it…
As I try to fight it…
While protesting with my mind in the manner I feel inclined to do.
Yet my mental efforts mean nothing as my body still gives her the standing ovation she deserves.